Exert - Sarah's Career

They passed a large rectangular building several stories high

with two wings adjoining in a V-shape. Several flags were raised in

the car park, flapping about on the roof of the building. One of the

adjoining structures was Brisbane General Hospital, and the other

was the University of Queensland Medical School. Sarah wished that

she would be going there the following Monday, but it was not to be.

However she felt a glimmer of hope; she was young, and had plenty of

time to study nursing. She would just do what her mother wanted and

then she could get on with her own dreams…..

After everyone had gone to sleep, Sarah opened her eyes to a hiss

from across the room.

‘Sarah!’

She looked up, watching as her sister kicked off the covers and

came over to her bed.

‘What is it?’

Vivienne sat down on the edge of the mattress. ‘I applied for

nursing college today.’

Sarah’s jaw dropped. ‘You what?’

‘I did it,’ Vivienne whispered, nodding. ‘I just did it! I really want

to be a nurse, Sarah. I don’t want to go to secretarial college! I went to

the hospital and got an application form, and put it in the post today!’

Sarah shook her head, looking down at the bedspread.

‘What is it,’ Vivienne urged.

‘I can’t believe you went behind Mother’s back,’ Sarah replied,

looking up at her again.

‘She doesn’t understand,’ Vivienne dismissed, swishing her hand.

‘We’re not doing anything wrong by God. How could we be? We’ll

be helping people! How could that be wrong?’ Vivienne sighed, rolling

her eyes. ‘Come on, Sarah. Do this with me! I know you want to!

Mother will be fine after awhile. She always is.’

Sarah sighed. ‘I don’t know, Viv. I really don’t.’

Vivienne tilted her head thoughtfully.

‘Think about it,’ she requested, patting her sister’s hand.

Sarah stood a few feet from the red letterbox on the street corner.

In her hands, she held a plain white envelope. People hurried all

around her, and cars roared by in both directions. So many thoughts

were racing through in her mind.

Is this right, she wondered. Was it really the Lord speaking to me

or my own selfish voice in my head?.....

She seemed separated from the bustling world around her. She took a

few steps forward, her legs feeling like concrete, her heart pounding in her

chest. She reached up to the slot, but quickly pulled her hand back.

What if Vivienne was wrong? Should I really be doing this?

The letterbox was just an ordinary object, yet it was the gateway

to her dreams. The everyday utility on the corner of a busy city street

was the barrier, tearing her heart between her mother’s wishes and her

own. She had never disobeyed either of her parents in her entire life.

She reached forward again and opened the lid, took a deep breath,

released her fingers. The letter slipped inside, and at that split moment,

she felt the eyes of the world upon her. She turned away and walked

back up the hill toward the bookstore. She knew that if her and

Vivienne’s applications were accepted, the dynamics of their family life

would change forever.

An excitement rushed through her body. Her steps became bolder.

She pulled her shoulders back and held her head high. She could

taste her dream; she felt strong, content, and wanted to dance and

scream with exhilaration. She was prepared to deal with the inevitable

situation at home when it eventually arose.

However, with the postage of that simple piece of paper, Sarah’s

excitement turned quickly to anxiety upon her arrival home that

evening. Throughout the following weeks, every interaction with her

mother was tarnished by the fear of her disobedience……

Standing tall before her bedroom mirror, Sarah pinned a small cap

over the crown of her head. Brushing her hands over her crisp

white uniform blouse and skirt, she nodded proudly with satisfaction.

There would be no more secretarial work for her…….

As the bus bumped along toward home, Sarah gazed out the window in

disappointment, window. She was going to be a mother. She had emerged from six

years of dedicated study and an even longer-standing ambition, and

started her career barely a year ago…..

The timing was terrible in her overall plan.

She continued to work for as long as she was permitted.

Walking away from the hospital, she knew it would be a good year

or more before she could return.…….

Jack arrived home from work just after four. Sarah stood before the

bedroom mirror in her white uniform, adjusting the white cap on her

head. She smiled- it had been almost a year, but the time had finally

come.She could barely wait to step back into her duties……..

.

Sarah slipped into the cab. ‘Brisbane General Hospital, please.’

Her days started when Paul woke before the sun, and she kept busy

with her care for him and the housework. Occasionally she would

rest in the afternoon while Paul was sleeping. She cooked dinner, and

when Jack arrived home she left for the hospital. When she finally

crawled into bed herself, she slept for a few hours until Paul woke

again, and the cycle started once more………

She wanted so very much to balance motherhood and her career,

pushing herself to the brink. She had waited this long, she could not

fail in her plan. So she struggled on, and Jack cowered beneath her

growing irritability.

The odd streetlight cast light into the back seat of the taxi. Sarah

had had a plan all along for how she would get back into her work

after her pregnancy. She had studied so hard for her dream career, and

she couldn’t imagine not being able to do it after all that work, and the

turmoil she had gone through with her mother. There was no other

option for her; she had to be a success……….

She didn’t even want to think about the possibility of not being

able to do what she loved. But her

body was fighting against her, and she didn’t know how long she could

continue to battle against it. She quickly brushed tears away, sniveling

quietly……..

‘Sarah, Jack and I wish to express great worry for your welfare,’ Dr

Webster began. ‘You have three children under five. You can’t continue

the way you’re going………

The sadness ached inside Sarah as she said goodbye to her

colleagues for the last time. As she left through the front entrance, she

stopped, looking back at the ward. She remembered the day long ago

when she had started her training.

She had been so happy and excited, but now those

memories just brought her sadness. She had barely started her

career, and was being forced to give it up. But through her

despair, she found a glimmer of hope. It had been delayed for

the time being, but maybe one day when the kids were older,

she could return….